Letea Cavander with her daughter Tallulah Stuart at Coolum Beach.
Letea Cavander with her daughter Tallulah Stuart at Coolum Beach. John McCutcheon

Men not to blame for bitchy behaviour

LADIES, we are our own worst enemies. I have been at the receiving end of my fair share of bitchy comments and, I won't lie, I have dished out a snarky sentence here and there, too.

Only the other day, as my partner and I, along with our one-year-old bub, waited in a massive long weekend queue at the northbound Caboolture servo, another woman on her own with two kids had filled her car and then taken the children to Maccas.

She was holding up the line for petrol that we were in. My first thought? "Oh, I'd never do that. How rude."

But as we filled up and then parked, I thought about it. I had no idea what that woman went through that morning.

She might have broken up with her partner. Her mum or dad might have died and she was on the road to her home town to make funeral arrangements. Or her kids might have been starving and behaving like two snakes trying to eat each other alive in the back seat.

Instead of giving this woman the benefit of the doubt, I went straight into biarch mode. I instantly regretted it. Parenthood has made me a lot less inclined to judge other women, though it's obviously still a work in progress. I did enough reading during my university days to bang on about how the patriarchy is to blame for the way women turn on each other.

How some women want to protect the status quo rather than challenge it and will defend existing values, even if they hold other women down.

No doubt this power structure exists, but I am calling a bit of BS on this one.

We choose our actions and reactions. We can't really blame men 24-7. I wish I could go back and offer that woman a hand instead of my judgment.

And that is what I challenge myself and other women to do this week. If you have a snarky thought, replace it with a positive one, or even throw out a compliment or two.

It might be enough to brighten another woman's day. We might even become part of a revolution of kindness that is empowering for everyone.


Letea Cavander is a freelance journalist on the hunt for great stories.

Get in touch on Facebook via Letea Cavander Journalist or follow on Instagram @leteacavander.