Lisa Wilkinson lashes 50 shades with incredible review
IT is the sultry, sexy trilogy that has as many critics as it has fans, but perhaps nobody has articulated their hatred of the new Fifty Shades of Grey film better than Nine's Today Show host Lisa Wilkinson.
She tells of the smile worn by her husband -- famed writer Peter FitzSimons -- when he heard his wife would be heading to the movie adaptation of the notorious page turner.
It's not worth spoiling with hints so we have published her review in full below.
The final line is a doozy.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Now my husband had a big smile on his face last night when he discovered I was heading off to see 50 Shades of Grey.
This was the book series, after all, that left women all over the world wanting more - if you know what I mean.
Sure, I was the only woman I know who hadn't read the books, but hey, 100 million copies sold must make a good movie right? Wrong.
50 Shades of Grey is quite simply the worst movie I've ever seen.
With a script that makes Mills and Boon read like bleedin' Dickens, and lines like "I don't do romance", Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey is a 30-something jerk of a billionaire who never seems to work - an emotionally crippled narcissist no-one could love.
Yes, 50 Shades of Grey is more appalling than appealing. It is domestic violence dressed up as erotica, and if there is one thing this movie is not, it is erotic.
One star out of five, and that's only because of the excellent choc top I consoled myself with later.
And I know you're wondering - as to (husband Pete FitzSimons), no, he didn't get lucky last night, because after two hours of complete drivel, I need more than a choc-top to pop my corn.