David Campbell: ‘My wife is in love with another man’
WHEN you enter into marriage with someone, you vow to "Have and to hold, love, honour and obey... in sickness and in health, let's get on with it... I do."
Most of us look adoringly at the person before us as The One.
All your previous relationships for whatever reason didn't get there and this person, out of the billions of potentials on the planet, has chosen you to share the rest of their days with.
Brilliant. Two thumbs up!
The ideal in any pairing is that the commitment to each other will last and no-one shall ever tear you apart.
After all, we have basically pinky sworn in front of all our friends and family that This Was It.
Let's not lie, some of us are punching above our weight. Some of us have settled. Some of us never know about "the one that got away", but we do know our partner cries a little too hard when they watch The Notebook once a year.
I confess I knew. I knew at the altar that my wife's perfect man wasn't going to race into the church at the last minute and object to our nuptials.
Why? Because he was probably filming his guest appearance on the hit TV show Curb Your Enthusiasm at that time.
You see, my wife loves me. But she also loves Ted Danson.
I know you weren't expecting it. I wish I could say the same.
Yet here I am, in a marriage where the affection runs from her down to a fork in the road where it splits between me and bloody Sam from Cheers.
Of course, I knew all this going in and have done what I can to play it to my advantage. I am older than her, which helps with any Ted Danson-like role play.
Tragically though, this is all Ted and I have in common.
Call me crazy, but I love my wife even more because of this celebrity crush. Lisa is the most sensible, level-headed person I know. Yet her Danson fandom is so real.
It lets me imagine the Lisa I never knew, the nerdy girl as a teen growing up in England, watching repeats of the great sitcom star playing a smooth-talking, fun-loving bar owner and getting all starry-eyed. How often in a relationship can you say that?
I adore that her limited fan-girling extends to someone like him. He is tall and cool, yet not at all like the modern Hollywood hunk.
No rippling Marvel superhero muscles. No brooding boyish looks. He is an ordinary, older bloke who likes to lighten the mood with humour. I can actually compete with that. Quite happily as it turns out.
Am I jealous that she keeps hinting about us watching The Good Place on Netflix? Nah, it looks fun.
Do I get anxious when she sings 'Goodnight Sweetheart' from Three Men And A Baby to my children almost every night? No way. I chuck a harmony in there and pretend I'm Tom Selleck.
In fact, loving my wife has made me love Ted Danson even more. He is adorable and a very good dresser. But we'd better not tell Mary Steenburgen.
David co-hosts Today Extra, 9am Monday-Wednesday, and Weekend Today, 7am weekends.