LNP to direct all preferences to Sir Prince Philip
ON the day before Queensland heads to the polls, the LNP has announced it will direct all its preferences to Sir Prince Philip.
Also known as "Sir Duke Baron Prince Phil the Greek", the Queen's husband is rumoured to replace Campbell Newman should the Premier lose his seat.
An LNP spokesperson told Frisky Business that the move "was a step towards bringing honesty back to politics". "It'll also give us a leg-up in the Ashes Series," they said.
Invitations for Tony Abbott to join the LNP campaign have also been recalled after it was discovered they were coming from the Labor Party.
"We had a call from Tony's office yesterday and had to have him turn his plane around.
"We wouldn't have known it was Labor behind it except one of the invitations had tattoo ink on it."
In Brisbane, thousands have taken to the streets to support embattled Dawson Coalition MP George Christensen as he takes criticism for posting a sexist cartoon of Annastacia Palaszczuk.
Demonstrators held giant signs declaring "Je Suis George" as #JeSuisGeorge became the top trending hashtag on twitter.
In a shock move, the Greens have reversed their position on live exports after several members tried steak for the first time.
"Up until this point we've all been vegetarians," said a Greens spokesperson.
"One of us was served the steak instead of the tofu steak and this has slowly brought us all around."
There is so far no word on the deliciousness of uranium or coal.
Next Wednesday's Bingo night has been cancelled due to imports of United States education and labor market policies.
Frisky Business is satire. It is not real. No money was taken from bikies for this column.